I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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