so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
two words: eviction party
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize