he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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