Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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