I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We're too hungover to prance.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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