A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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