There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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