she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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