Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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