put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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