I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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