he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize