One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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