I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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