He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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