so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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