i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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