I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize