And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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