he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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