I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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