im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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