YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize