im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize