im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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