Are we in a gay sports bar?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize