Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
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Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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