Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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