how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize