I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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