Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize