im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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