"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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