Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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