I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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