the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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