Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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