i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize