Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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