Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Where is the hickey?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize