Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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