I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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