Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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