I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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