just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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