I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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