i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize