"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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