guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize