he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize